Beginners guide on how to be a good girlfriend.

To all the single girls out there I would like to share what can you do be a girlfriend material. Yeah, the kind to whom boys fall easily. Most of these points have been deduced by observing common characteristics of ‘girlfriends’ I have known. Any similarity to the person reading this bullshit is effing coincidental.

1. Let him know you are interested
Asking him for a coffee or movie is an old way. Hit that like button under any pic which has him and favorite his lame tweets. Don’t forget to poke him between raping those like and favorite buttons.

2. Get his attention
No matter how bad your face looks, always try to get your best side clicked with a duck face and post it as your profile picture. That is not enough, you have to beg your mutual friends to like and comment on that pict till it fills his facebook wall like spam.

3. Sharing is caring
Don’t forget to share every forwarded message you receive from your friends, especially those sweet messages with lot of hearts. < 3 (though it looks more like junk than a heart)

4. Act stupid
Believe it or not, boys like girls who act stupid. Look at Penny from The Big Bang Theory !! Ask his help for minor cell phone glitches, to fix your laptop or an irrelevant banal doubt.

5. Sense of his humour
Make him feel that he got a good sense of humour by laughing at whatever crappy jokes he is trying to crack . Just don’t let him know that you are doing it purpose and you don’t laugh in any serious issue.

6. Birthdays
On his birthday take treat in a posh restaurant. While your birthday is few months away keep talking about that another classy lounge you always wanted to visit. So, that he gets the hint and is compelled to take you there as surprise treat.

7. Be an emo
Cry after a fight over not saying proper good night after two hours of call and make a scene when he replies to a message late. Send him pinching texts like “I did that and this .. Blah blah .. And, this is how you treat me..” Etc.

8. PDA (Public display of affection) 
Hugs and kisses are quite unacceptable in Indian society. So, what is important is hold his hand all the time in public, except when you using the toilet.

9. Check-in at posh places
You may visit local salon or restaurant, but when you visit a spa or star hotel post it on your facebook that you guys are there together and make him feel good. While the actual intention is to show it off to your girlfriends.

10. Attack his wall
When you are away for more than 12hours from him, post “miss you honey ” or on a vocation start counting days to go until you meet him on Facebook. Let the world know how many hours or day you are away from him.

11. Be angry at silly things 😀
Yeah! This is very important. If you ain’t angry over certain things like he can’t meet over a lunch due to office work or he keeps you waiting for 10 minute due to heavy traffic, be very angry. No, don’t pardon him remembering all the bills he payed and the times you made him wait for hours outside your home.

12. Tag him

Tag him in every photo of yours even if he is not there. Cut Copy Pasted heart touching poem and tag him. Upload a forwarded good morning photo you received on whatsapp and tag him. Just tag him.

13. VDA (Virtual Display of Affection)

Comment, mention, like, favorite, retweet whatever shit he posts on Facebook or twitter. This is really important even if you are sharing your bed while you do that. It indirectly screams that you are his girlfriend  and sends out signals to his female fans to take a back seat. It may account to stalking him nut that’s alright.

Being a carefree and letting go kinda cool  girl who treats all boys the same way, you have 90% chance of being friend zoned. How much ever boys may deny they want their girl to act little stupid and be mad at them which makes them feel cared and secure. So, keep these points to charm your crush and move out of friend zone.

PS: If you don’t and can’t do any of this shit. Then you are just a marriage material. 😉