Being me and being doctor.

Like every other person, I would like to leave behind my professional-self once I leave my office (yes, I prefer to call hospital as office for professional touch). You may ask why you make a big deal out of it. Well, when I am not playing doctor I want to be myself.

I am a nagging crazy friend, stupid sister, pampered daughter, a never-seem-to-grow-up-kinda-kid and at last just I, me and myself. Despite these, I am serious doctor when it comes to managing patients health condition. I have drawn the line between my personal and professional life. But, it’s seems to fading gradually thanks to relatives, neighbors and so called family friends. These are few situation outside hospital where I am perplexed whether to be my normal self or a doctor.

Relatives asking medical advice:

Well ethically a doctor should not be treating his family or close relatives. Well that doesn’t hold good in India, does it? On an average 3-4 calls per week from my relatives and friends asking treatment for common cold or hemorrhoids or lump in breast. The regular me wants to tell them that the symptoms could suggest anything benign condition to grave conditions like cancer. But, a concerned doctor in me spends an hour or more convincing them to see a doctor in person for better diagnosis and treatment.  Nowadays, my internet savvy relatives come with a list of diagnosis for their complaint and call me up to get clarification that they are not suffering from the gravest conditions in the list. I so want to shove their head in the LAN port and spank their smart ass but a polite doctor in me patiently explains them to ally their anxiety.

Eating out:

By society norms, I am a doctor and I should be very health conscious, eating healthy food and exercising regularly. God!! give me a break, that sounds so saint-ish (this is going to be declared word of the year like ‘Selfie’ someday). I hate those glares and questioning look from my aunts, cousins and some friends every time I order Dominos double cheese burst pizza or butter-naan with paneer-butter-masala. I am like, I have functioning taste buds that need to be satisfied with occasional indulgences, so please excuse me. These kinda reactions have a taken a toll on my craving for high fat diet. Now, I take caution to order dishes with less % of fat to enact as a good Doctor in front of people, who see me more as a doctor than friend or family. But, whenever I advice on cutting calories especially those obese aunts/uncle, they say “This doctor will advice against eating anything and let us starve. LOL”. Seriously! I dont get it.

Not keeping up with my circadian rhythm:

Though a doctor emphasis on importance of eating at right time, early-to-bed-early-to-rise policy and not to be stressed, he/she is the last one to follow these advice. I sleep at odd ours and get up very late when I have a day off, so my eating schedules are equally disrupted and my stress shows up as under eye bags all the time. That is something as normal as pissing for we doctors. But, others blame my lack of regular naps and food intake for my pitiable avatar. I am in position to explain them about the poisoning case I attended the previous night which kept me up till 7 in the morning and I so want to pull my hair. But, I simply smile and say ‘I had a busy and tiring night duty. So, I skipped my breakfast and overslept.’

That moment when I am introduced as A Doctor: 

I don’t know about other doctors how they feel or were made to feel, but there have been times I dread, inwardly, being introduced as a doctor; specially at weddings. Thanks to the extra attention, raised  eyebrows and awkward on the spot marriage proposal of their son/nephew/son-of-a-friend who is a doctor etc, I have received. I do love the extra recognition and respect I get vowing to being a doctor but, that should not stop me from being me right? Recently, I attended a function held in our locality and I bumped into a lady, a family friend, whom I met after few years. I laughed and spoke to her as I used to before with same warmth and affection. Suddenly, she remarked that I have become doctor but I still talk so casually. I was taken aback. I have been a chatter box and I laugh out loud since I am a kid. I know this lady from my school days and she expects me to be serious and talk less just because I am a doctor. This instance made me realize why most doctor choose to be contained- in spite of being jovial with those from medical fraternity- with non-medicos. It in not that they have changed but people expect them to.

Non-Medical friends:

I have more non-medical friends than medical friends who are quite close to me. I have been good at maths, quite good with knowledge about gadgets and keep myself updated with recent technological advances. While discussing with my non-medical friends, especially some tech-related stuff, if I say I am aware of the gadget they will be surprised and ask how do I get time to read  something outside my medical books. I have to remind them that I was into gadgets way before I entered med-school.

First encounter with non-medicos:

Most refrain from dwelling into my medical life but some take all the liberty to dwell into the depth of it. There are certain cliched question which every medical student or doctor is fed up of answering and most FAQ are :

They:Dissecting dead bodies(I want correct them saying ‘Cadaver’ then I stop myself)  must be awful right ?

Me: Aunty(we Indians address any elderly female as aunty), it was only during 1st year. Fainting episodes are highly exaggerated and happen more commonly in movies than in reality.

They: Ayyo look at those huge books. There is so much to study-na ?

Me: These are my medicine books only and the rest are here. *I point at the stack of books filling my shelf*

They: O_0 So, Which specialization are you doing ?

Me:  I am doing MBBS and it is a  Bachelor degree in medicine. Masters and specialization will happen later.

They: Oh, then what specialization you want to do?

Me: Internal Medicine or Pediatrics.

They: You mean Physician??  why don’t you become gynecologist? I will come to you only and it is good for girls too.

Me: (that is why I am not becoming one) No, I am interested in Internal Medicine.

They: You know what my husband’s-brother’s-wife’s-sister’s nephew is doing medical in XYZ medical, in ABC place. He was a topper in his 12th

Me: Oh great.  (I hope his parents don’t badger him to score 90% marks in  MBBS exams and get used to 60’s or even settle for a pass )

They: Finish your exams and become a specialist doctor ASAP. We will come to you for treatment.

Me: I hope you don’t get ill in first place aunty.

These are my testing times and they test my patience the most. Well, there have been countless number of social interactions when I get confused of whether to be myself or a DOCTOR . But, both aspects get so mixed up that I just try to handle such awkward situation without making it more awkward.

True Story: ISSUED IN PUBLIC INTEREST

For a while my phone touch screen was malfunctioning . I mean, I tap on one app and some other app opens, it went so crazy ! I was not able to open whatsapp and locate anybody’s contact no. !! I panicked thinking my phone got corrupted.

I could not even switch my phone off. I still managed to do so and nothing was set right once I switched on the phone. The touch screen still acted crazy. LIKE IT WAS possessed or something . I was not able to type or browse. I did one thing but my phone executed something else. I , For example, touched an app in lower row and an app in upper row would open. Menu button would not work etc.,

I wondered what went wrong?? Did I receive a malware while sharing files with my friends or from my laptop?? And then it flashed what I did just few minutes before my phone got corrupt.  I had recorded an hour long Pappu’s speech on my phone’s voice recorder. (I know I must be crazy)

It was too much for my ‘poor’ phone as its ‘state of mind’ was not right you see. As I bought my iPhone in India, on hearing Pappu’s speech it automatically new iCongress_2004_2014 OS which is corrupt. See that is the problem.

After deleting Pappu’s speech and updating iNaMo_for_2014 my iPhone. It’s just working fine and even better. My friend who is an expert at phones said that if the corrupt OS was not removed any sooner, my phone would have stop working .

As my phone was smart(I mean smart phone) it withstood for some time. Regular cellphone, low end models, china phone etc., with low IQ power of their OS will get corrupted easily. So, it is essential to upgrade the OS of these phones in order to curtail spread of the corrupt OS through Pappu’s speeches in future.

Further studies have shown that if Pappu’s speech can have so much of harmful impact on a phone, it surely is going to affect human brain in worst possible way. So, the researchers have urged people of India to refrain themselves from listening to Pappu’s speech.

Kindly share this serious (see, no smileys) and important information with your friends, family and even those unknown people in your friends on FB and followers on twitter.

PS: those who don’t know who Pappu and NaMo from Indian politics. Kindly Google it out. Congress like in any political party in India notorious for corruption, but it has set a touchstone which will intimidate any other party.